Writing Your Own Wedding Vows.
6 Easy Steps
Writing your own personalized wedding vows can be a daunting task, but it's not quite as hard as it looks. Here are six easy steps that you can follow to write your own wedding vows.
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Make sure that everyone is on the same page.
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| Talk to your future spouse and your wedding celebrant and make sure everyone is okay with personalized wedding vows. Some religions require that you use the traditional wording, while others will allow you to write your own, as long as you include certain phrases. You'll also want to make sure that your sweetheart also wants to do it. While you're at it, decide together whether you want to write one wedding vow that you will both say, or whether you want to write individually.
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| Answer some simple questions
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| Yep, its homework time.
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| Sit down in a quiet space with paper and pen and answer these questions. Even if you don't think the answer will end up in your wedding vows, still take the time to write it down. It may help you in the long run. If you encounter writer's block, first try taking a short break. If you're still having trouble, try speaking the answers into a tape recorder, letting the thoughts flow freely. |
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What is the single greatest thing about the person you are going to marry? |
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When did you know that you were in love/ know that this person was the one you wanted to marry? |
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What does marriage mean to you? Why do you want to be a married person? |
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What will change about your relationship once you are married? What will stay the same? |
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What is your most favorite memory of your partner? |
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When you were little, did you dream of your wedding day or your future spouse? How does that vision match up (or not) with your sweetheart? |
Consult the experts:
| Take some time to read through a variety of wedding vows (see Wedding Vows Doc.) As well as passages of poetry, love stories, and famous writing about love (see Wedding Readings Docs.) Print out your favorites, and highlight passages that especially speak to you. |
Put it all together: |
| Go back to the words you wrote before, and highlight passages that you might want to include in your wedding vows. Now is the time to pare things down - select the very best of all the material you have to work with. Try taking a sentence or two from literature, add a sentence or two from the answers to the above questions, and finish with a vow - a sentence that begins "I promise" or "I vow". |
For example, you might say: |
{ Name of your sweetheart} ", "as the poet Rilke said, 'This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love. The more they give, the more they possess.' You are the most generous, loving, unselfish person I know. I fell in love with you the moment I first saw you with your daughter, treating her with such respect and giving her all of you. I feel so fortunate that you have chosen to share your love with me, and that I get to grow old next to you. Mary, today I choose you for my wife. I promise to love you, honor you, care for you, and be faithful to you, from this day forward and for the rest of our lives." |
If that didn't work try filling in the blanks in a simpler vow. |
| ( Name of your sweetheart), you are my (best friend, one true love, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, etc.) Today, I take you to be my (wife, husband, lawfully wedded wife or husband, life partner, etc.) I promise you that I will be (faithful, worthy of your trust, worthy of your love, your loving partner, etc.) I vow to (honor you, cherish you, love you, respect you, laugh with you, cry with you, support you in your goals, etc.), (insert here the length of your vow, for example, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.) |
Practice, Practice, Practice: |
First, try reading what you've written out loud to a trusted friend or family member. Ideally, this person will be someone who is a good writer, and someone who knows your relationship. They may have good suggestions for you, or the simple act of reading it out loud might help you identify places where you can improve. Once you've worked out a final version, practice reading it on your own, several times to make sure you are comfortable with it. If you can, try to memorize it. But whether or not you memorize well, make sure that you write down your wedding vows on a note card (and give an extra copy to the best man or maid of honor!) so that nerves won't spoil all of your hard work. |
Looking for those special words that will marry you?
| I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. |
| I, ( name), take you, (name), to be my [opt: lawfully wedded] (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. |
| In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live. |
| I ( name), take you (name) to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live. |
| In the presence of God and these our friends I take thee to be my ( husband/wife), promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful (husband/wife) so long as we both shall live. |
| I, ( name), take you, (name), to be my friend, my lover, the (mother/father) of my children and my (husband/wife). I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity. |
| I, [ name], choose you [name] to be my [husband/wife], to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life. |
| I, ( name), take you, (name), to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the (man/woman) you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us. |
| After both have said individual vows, they may wish to say something in unison such as: |
| Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you, for where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. And where you die, I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord do with me and more if anything but death parts you from me? |
Example Wedding Vow Wording
| When writing your wedding vows, consider whether you want them to be classic and traditional, such as these |
| Do you ( name) take (name) to be your lawful wedded (wife/husband)? (Each responds, "I do.") Will you love, respect and honor her/him throughout your years together? (Each responds, "I will.") |
Or if you want to personalize your wedding vows to reflect your relationship |
These are good examples, although you could certainly get more personal |
| I (name) affirm my love to you, (name) as I invite you to share my life. You are the most beautiful, smart, and generous person I have ever known, and I promise always to respect you. With kindness, unselfishness and trust, I will work by your side to create a wonderful life together. |
| I take you ( name) to be my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live |
( Name), I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.
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| Also remember that you can both say the same vows, or you can say completely different ones |
| You can also ask your friends and family to participate in your wedding vows |
| ( Name) do you take (name) to be your lawful wedded (wife/husband)? (Each responds, "I do.") Do you promise to love and cherish (her/him), in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her/him, for so long as you both shall live? (Each responds, "I do.") Do you together promise in the presence of your friends and family that you will at all times and in all circumstances, conduct yourselves toward one another as becomes Husband and Wife? (Together they respond, "We do.") Do you together promise you will love, cherish and respect one another throughout the years? (Together they respond, "We do.") |
Here are some more examples of wedding vows
| ( Name), I love you. I want to be your (husband/wife) so that we might serve Christ together. Through all of the uncertainties and trials of life, I promise to be faithful to you and love you, so that together we may grow in the likeness of Christ and that our home may be praise to Him |
| ( Name), I promise to love and care for you and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love. I will always be honest with you, kind, patient, and forgiving. But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you. I love you |
| I ( name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to share the good times and hard times side by side. I humbly give you my hand and my heart as I pledge my faith and love to you. Just as this ring I give you today is a circle without end, my love for you is eternal. Just as it is made of incorruptible substance, my commitment to you will never fail. With this ring, I thee wed |
| (Name), do you pledge to love (name) and throughout your years together to be honest, faithful, and kind to (her/him)? Do you pledge to give to (her/him) the same happiness she/he gives to you, and to respect her for who she is, not who you want her to be? (Each responds, "I do.") |
| ( Name), with all my love, I take you to be my (wife/husband). I will love you through good and the bad, through joy and the sorrow. I will try to be understanding, and to trust in you completely. Together we will face all of life's experiences and share one another's dreams and goals. I promise I will be your equal partner in a loving, honest relationship, for as long as we both shall live. |
| (Name), I promise to love you, to be your best friend, to respect and support you, to be patient with you, to work together with you to achieve our goals, to accept you unconditionally, and to share life with you throughout the years. |
| ( Name), I take you to be my (wife/husband) from this time onward, to join with you and to share all that is to come, to be your faithful (husband/wife), to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond; a commitment made in love, kept in faith, and eternally made new. |
| I ( Name) pledge my undying love to you (Name) as I invite you to share my life. I promise to be kind, unselfish, respectful, and trustworthy so that together, our dreams of a beautiful future can come true. To this end I call upon all present to witness that I take you (Name) to be my (husband/wife/spouse), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live. |
| I ( Name), take you, (Name) to be my (husband/wife/spouse). I promise to respect and support you, to be patient and loving towards you, to work by your side to achieve the things we value and dream of, and to savor our time together. I pledge to you all of these things from the bottom of my heart for the rest of our lives. |
| I ( Name), take you (Name) to be my (husband/wife/spouse), to share both good times and bad times, side by side. I give you my hand, and my heart, and hope that my love will always be a safe haven for you. Just as this circle is without end, my love for you is eternal. Just as it is made of a permanent metal, my commitment to you is forever. With this ring, I thee wed. |
| In the name of God, I, ( Name), take you, (Name), to be my (husband/wife/spouse), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow. |
| ( Name), today I take you for my (husband/wife/spouse). Now we will feel no rain, for each of us will be shelter for the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of us will be companion to the other. There is only one life before us, and our seasons will be good and long. I promise to love, honor, and cherish you, no matter what lies before us, for as long as we both shall live. |
| ( Name), I take you to be my (husband/wife/spouse), from this point forward, to join with you and to share all that is to come, to be your faithful (husband/wife/spouse), to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond. This will be a commitment made in love, kept in faith, and eternally made new. |
I, ( Name), take you (Name), to be my (husband/wife/spouse), my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love. On this special [opt: and holy] day, I (affirm/reaffirm/give) to you in the presence of God and (all those in attendance/these witnesses) my (pledge/sacred promise) to stay by your side as your [opt: faithful] wife in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the good times and the bad. I (promise/further promise) to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve (higher/all of your) goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live. |
| I, ( Name), take thee (Name), to be my wedded (husband/wife/spouse), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part, according to Gods ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my troth. |
| In the name of God, I, ( Name), take you, (Name), to be my (husband/wife/spouse) to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow. |
